Start with a promise, not a poem
Vows are promises. Before you worry about beautiful words, jot down what you actually promise this person: to listen, to make the tea, to always be honest, to keep making them laugh. The specific and slightly silly ones are often the most moving.
Use a simple three-part shape
It stops you rambling and helps the vows land:
- Something true about them, or about you together ("You are the calmest person I know, and somehow that's made me calmer too").
- A few real promises, a mix of big and small ("I promise to back you, to argue fairly, and to never, ever reverse the car for you again").
- A line about the future ("Whatever comes, I want to face it next to you").
Be specific
"You make me happy" is true of a lot of people. "You make me laugh in the supermarket" is only true of you two. Detail is what makes a guest lean in.
Keep them roughly even, and roughly a minute each
You don't have to match word for word, but agree a rough length and tone so one of you isn't reading an essay while the other says three lines.
Read them out loud before the day
Words behave differently in the mouth than on the page. If a line makes you stumble, simplify it.
If it feels daunting
That's completely normal, and it's part of what I do. I can give you prompts, gently edit what you've drafted, or write from a conversation with you so the vows still sound like you, just a little more polished. Because a celebrant ceremony has no fixed script, your vows can be exactly as heartfelt, funny or plain-spoken as you want.
Planning a wedding in Warwickshire? Tell me about the two of you and I'll help you find the words. Start a conversation.